When Santa Moonlights as a Sign Maker

I know you think that Santa
works one night of the year.
But this is proof positive
that Santa works right here.
As a signmaker in the off season.
1-800-AN-ELF-IS-JUST-A-CHRISTMAS-ELK

Crow Farm and More Oxymoron

We've got racoons, squirrels, and small dogs.
On a good day, we might have hogs.
Not the kind all clean and pinky.
Ours are awful offal stinky.
See those flowers?  They're a sick ploy.
With your sensibilities we will toy.
Once you get inside, you'll know gross.
Here at Crow Farm, crows, we are boss.

Today's special for motorists:
Two-for-one-hit-and-run.
We keep the carcass.
You have the fun.

For take-out skins and undamaged organs:
1-800-WE-OWN-THE-ROAD-KILL

Highway to Hoffa

Oh where, oh where
could my little Jimmy be?
Oh where, oh where
could he be?
Hey!  Look!
He's right here!
Heading down Highway 95!
And they said no one
could find him.   :-)
He's playing a gig
in Warwick, Rhode Island
with Elvis . . .

Spiritual Water Sports

If God Liked Boats . . .

Poetic English Lanuage

Oxymoron

Comings and Goings of Life

Thinking Outside the Sign is back for May.
I will try to post a sign/symbol each Friday.
If you come across a great sign/symbol,
email me a photo to consider
or tell me where you saw it.
Happy Friday in your comings and goings.
Hope yours includes a four-footed friend.

Happy Tails

Happy tails to you,
until we meet again.

Happy tails to you,
keep smilin' until then.
Who cares about the clouds
when we're together?
Just sing a song and
bring the sunny weather.
Happy tails to you,
'till we meet again.

Lyrics co-opted from Dale Evans' "Happy Trails."
Of course.  I am a poet.   :-)
It has been a fun project for poetry month.
Hope you have enjoyed.
I know I surely have.
And don't forget to keep
Thinking Outside the Sign.

Soft Shoulder

Life Signs:
Soft Shoulder.  Cry here.

Rhode Island Directions

RISD Museum Store 3D:
Formerly the Metcalf Store.
Where the hardware place used to be.
In front of the old movie theater
that is now the parking for the mall.
Turn left at the old garage
where Dad used to pump gas
that once was a disco
but now is a Buddhist retreat center.

If you get lost,
stop at the Visitor's Center
that isn't there any more
because now it's a Stop and Shop.
But at least you can buy some
"yes, we have no bananas today."

End Road Work

First Amendment right:
Protest Sign.

Poetic Water Sports

If Shakespeare had a boat . . .

Streamlining Life Signs

Having trouble getting ready for work?
Getting the kids ready for school?
Then, worry no more!
We at Streamlining Life Signs, Ink.,
are ready to get a sign ready
to streamline your life.
Once you have these handy dandy signs
posted around your house,
you'll never have to be late again.
Get Ready Area.
Breakfast Area.
Lost Toys Area.
Breakdown Area.
Who would have thought that
something as simple as a sign
could simplify your life?!?
Call now.  Sign Makers ready
to ink you back to sanity.
1-800-GIVE-ME-A-SIGN

Signs of Spring

Pssst.  Hey you.
Rocker boy.
Open this door, will ya?
Time to go out and play
geranium tag.

Gull Guards

The Town of Warwick
is implementing
a new cost-saving measure
for summer 2010.
Beginning Memorial Weekend,
the newly trained Gull Guards
will be on all town beaches.
They can't rescue you from drowning,
but they can rescue you from those excess
French fries you buy at Iggy's.
Applications for Gull Guards available at
1-800-ITS-MY-BEACH-AND-DON'T-YOU-FORGET-IT.

If the Pilgrims Had Twitter . . .

If the Pilgrims Had Twitter: 
Can u believe
we r stuck on this creakin' ship
in the harbor cuz
nobody has coins
for the @#$%^&* meter?!?
Meet me aft
& we'll play "jump the shark"!

Making Amends

Don't park here, man.
No car.  No skate.
But you can always levitate
your ice cream truck and wagon of hay
till sunrise comes around each day.
By Ordinance of the Fraternal Order Against Beach Bums.
NAMBY:  Not at My Beach, Yo. 

Just Like Vegas

Who says Little Rhody
can't be Las Vegas East?
Or the Hotel California
of East Greenwich.
Hotel Greenwich.
Where the burgers are medium,
the winning is rare,
the band is well-done,
and the drinks and women are full-bodied.
You won't ever have to leave!

Start the Day with Ice Cream

Hello, Everyone.
Guido here with your tip
for a Happy Monday.
Start at the top of the street.
Eat dessert first.
Come on, my little monkey.
Vanilla, you say?
Okay.
Then we will delight the folks
here on Commercial Street
with a song.
Happy Monday!

(Mural painting of old Provincetown, MA.
Many murals grace the walls of the
Provincetown Inn, at the tip of Cape Cod.
http://www.provincetowninn.com/murals.html)

Street Sign Rhyme

Everything rhymes during Poetry Month.  :-)
This street sign in Provincetown, MA
should have been named for Benjamin Lee Whorf (1897 - 1941).
Whorf was an American linguist.
He is widely known for his ideas about linguistic relativity,
the hypothesis that language influences thought.
Hail, Benjamin Lee Whorf!

Not to be confused with Worf from Star Trek,
clearly a superior linguist in is own right.   :-)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Lee_Whorf

Eat Your Eyes

Hey, Mon. 
You having trouble finding your shades?
Lost in your purse.
Dropped in your car.
Well, worry no more!
Welcome to Mango Sunglasses.
Shades made of fruit.
Wear once and eat.
No more losing on the street.
Drop them in your mouth.
Oh, they so sweet!
1-800-EAT-MY-EYES