When Santa Moonlights as a Sign Maker

I know you think that Santa
works one night of the year.
But this is proof positive
that Santa works right here.
As a signmaker in the off season.
1-800-AN-ELF-IS-JUST-A-CHRISTMAS-ELK

Crow Farm and More Oxymoron

We've got racoons, squirrels, and small dogs.
On a good day, we might have hogs.
Not the kind all clean and pinky.
Ours are awful offal stinky.
See those flowers?  They're a sick ploy.
With your sensibilities we will toy.
Once you get inside, you'll know gross.
Here at Crow Farm, crows, we are boss.

Today's special for motorists:
Two-for-one-hit-and-run.
We keep the carcass.
You have the fun.

For take-out skins and undamaged organs:
1-800-WE-OWN-THE-ROAD-KILL